In Cofidence Stage II
by Angry Warrior
Summary: Stage II, is the continuation of In Confidence Book I. Did Chakotay changing the future by changing his actions in 'Endgame' change his and Kathryn's future for the better?
1. Chapter 1

In Confidence

Stage II

Chapter i

I had been five years since the fateful day that Chakotay had been forced – by powers beyond his control – to take little Marissa Janeway's life.

Tom understood why Chakotay had been forced to do it, and he respected the decision Chakotay had made; but had Tom been in the same place and had it been B'Elanna who had died and Miral's life on the line… he wasn't sure that he could have made that decision.

Tom (as asked) had been searching and researching the Borg Technology that Kathryn Janeway would have discovered had she lived her life through. He made a point of going to visit Chakotay monthly. Chakotay had requested that Tom create a sort of 'time capsule' that could be brought along on their trip to change the future, when their past had finally begun.

In the third year of Tom's adventure to help Chakotay fix the past mistakes, B'Elanna had been brought into the picture. No matter how determined or brilliant Tom was, he was no engineer. B'Elanna had researched the portfolio of Borg Technology that the first Admiral Janeway had brought back; and that coupled with the pieces of Borg Technology that the Federation had amassed over the years had allowed a plan to evolve.

Captain Janeway would not have Marissa this time and the past, the present and a new future would be forged.

Three days before Chakotays release, Tom paid his one last visit, "Hey old man."

Chakotay scowled at the new 'Commander Tom Paris'. "I'm still not too old to whoop some sense into you youngin'." They both laughed at the inside joke. "So do you any more pictures of Miral and Owen to show me?"

Tom reached into his pocket and pulled out pictures to show his former Commanding Officer, "My goodness: Miral is as beautiful as her mother."

Tom looked at Chakotay, fatherly pride beaming through. "And keeps getting more beautiful as the days go on."

Chakotay stared at pictures of the newest addition to the Paris brood. Chakotay piped up: "And poor Owen looks like you, poor boy."

Tom laughed at Chakotay, "Well we can't all be blessed with your good looks." The sarcasm dripped from the former pilot's mouth.

Chakotay stared daggers at Tom, something he had no doubt learned from none other than Kathryn Janeway herself. Tom cringed at the look, "Hey you'd better watch where you point that thing Commander. Like it or not, I can still kick your ass." Tom paused looking Chakotay straight on, "Prison life has given me lots of practice."

The mood in the visiting room quickly lost its jovial electricity. "So… you ready to get out of here?"

Chakotay sighed, "Three more days Tom," he paused, "Three more days and life will be as it should be."

Tom stared at the older man, "Yes and hopefully everything will be back to normal." He grinned, that cheeky grin that was part and parcel of who Tom Paris was. He drew in a breath, "Well if you consider life with Kathryn Janeway normal…"

"I'd rather live with her than without her." Tom patted him on the shoulder.

Chakotay stared into nothingness with a faraway look in hi eyes, "Yes, then everything will finally be okay."

Tom gave him one last glance, patted him on the back and walked out of the prison in Auckland, New Zealand for hopefully the last time.

Three days later, at 1706, the Paris family came to get Chakotay. He said his goodbyes to all the people he had come to know over the past five years.

Although most of the people he met were petty criminals, there were those – like Chakotay himself – who had simply been put in an unfortunate situation and had ended up serving time. He had met (by chance) three former Maquis rebels who had been fortunate enough not to have been killed in the Dominion War; although like many others with they had died for their cause.

Chakotay walked along the outskirts of the facility with Tom, BElanna and their kids on the way to the transport station. He turned to Tom: "You know I've been here for five years – and I know I could have been in a lot worse places – but until now, I never realized how beautiful it was."

Tom reminisced about his days in the prison facility. "You got that right. I've seen some of those Cardassian and Klingon prisons; by those standards, this place is a vacation in paradise.

They reached the transport site and Chakotay felt the all-too-familiar tingle of the transporter beam overtake him. "You guys ready to break every rule in the 'almighty Starfleet Rulebook'?"

Tom and B'Elanna looked to each other, looked at their kids and nodded. "You bet Chakotay. This is it; after today – god willing everything changes – for the better."

The group arrived a the Paris house and Chakotay took a look around: They had done well for themselves. He peeked inside the children's rooms. Owen had been put down to sleep and had passed right out is seemed. Miral was getting ready for bed. She was five years old now and it appeared that her bed time was around 2000 hours. He left, pain and regret coursing through him. _Would he and Kathryn ever have this? Stop thinking like that; this is why you're doing what you're doing._

He walked into the Paris' living area. "Are you guys going to show me what you've gotten together for the time capsule, or am I going to have to guess?"

B'Elanna smiled, "Sure thing… what didn't you think we could get it right?"

Chakotay grinned, that dimpled grin of his showing up; that grin that they all knew Kathryn Janeway had fallen in love with.

He threw his hands up in a motion of defeat. "No, I just had to add something to the parcel, that's all."

Tom and B'Elanna looked at each other then spoke in unison: "That's all?"

Chakotay looked down, staring at this hands in dismay. "You'll get her back Chakotay; you just have to see this thing through."

Chakotay simply nodded, holding the tears at bay. Quickly he attempted to change the subject. "Did you guys send letters to Kathryn too? She has to know it's not just me begging for the termination of Marissa." He paused, "If it was just me she might see it as jealousy."

B'Elanna chimed in, "No worries Chakotay. We've got you covered."

He slowly pulled the box out from under the sofa where B'Elanna had been pointing, thinking and knowing this would be the only remembrance of this timeline. He pulled out pictures of the older Tom and B'Elanna and their children. He pulled out the padd with the letter that was written to Kathryn Janeway from the Paris'.

B'Elanna stared at him checking out the content of the box. "You can read it, you know: the password is 'miral'."

Chakotay took the padd and stared at the couple. "How do you know she'll be able to pick out the password?"

B'Elanna looked at Chakotay as if his head was going to fall off. "We've set the timeline to go back right around the time Miral was born. Besides, Kathryn and I had, had many discussions (as friends) about motherhood, about the coming baby and about her name. It had been chosen months before she was born." She paused collecting her thoughts, "you know Chakotay she was jealous of me. For all the career achievements she'd attained, she never reached her dream of a husband, kids: a family to call her own."

Chakotay nodded nearly in tears. "I can give her all that B'Elanna…"

She cut him off. "I know you can and you're more than willing, but it's her you have to convince… not me."

Tom joined in, "And the reason she'd be able to pick out the password no problem, is the same reason she'd have no problem picking your password out." He looked at Chakotay, "She's an extraordinarily persistent woman… and sometimes she knew us better than we knew ourselves."

Chakotay stared at the wall lost in thought. He changed the subject, "So is Harry up to babysitting duty while we change the timeline once and for all?"

B'Elanna nodded and looked him in the eyes mischievously. "We've already made arrangements with Harry, but we still have to figure out a way to get the Delta Flyer out of the shipyard, and smuggle the 'Borg Components' out of the lab where they're being held, and…" she paused, "Finally we have to managed to get a hold of Captain Janeway's medical files." She took in a deep breath, looking steadily at Chakotay. "We still have a lot of work to do."

Tom joined in laughing, "Yeah good thing we got Harry to take a week off of work to look after the kids so we can," (he made the quotation movements around his head that had been popular in the 20th century), "so we can go on our anniversary vacation."

The trio laughed, all would be good soon.

END CHAPTER i


	2. Chapter 2

In Confidence

Stage II

Chapter ii

Chakotay had managed to break into Kathryn's personal files. He had felt a bit like a grave robber doing it; but he knew that was the only way the Kathryn of the past would believe him.

That coupled with the letters that Tom, B'Elanna and himself had written, she would be unable to deny the truth.

He hoped so anyway...

The evidence they brought back, would clearly point to the fact that Chakotay wasn't lying: her being pregnant and not knowing about it, future birth records and pictures, and the letters and recording themselves.

He looked at the face staring back at him in the mirror, and knew he had aged many years in his time without Kathryn; and if this didn't work he would age many more: a lonely old man.

He walked outside and made his way to the Paris residence. He rang the doorbell _Man, even their house has vestiges of the 20__th__ century._

Tom answered the door, not looking at all surprised to see him. "Well, look who's here," he paused and turned towards the stairs. "B'Elanna time's up!"

He looked to Chakotay, grinning, "Come on in, we were just going to have lunch and then go change history for you."

Chakotay glared at Tom and watched him visibly cringe. "Wow, you learned rally well from Kathryn when she was here."

Tom felt B'Elanna smack him on the arm, and he turned to look her way.

"He didn't mean anything by it Chakotay. You know how Tom is: everything is a joke to him."

Chakotay looked on wistfully. "She impacted all of our lives… you two included. I'm sure we've all picked up a thing or two from her."

B'Elanna smiled. "I know I did. She taught me that I could be a good mother to Miral and any other kids I might have in the future. I loved her like a mother, and will never forget her."

Chakotay looked at her steadily, purpose in his gaze. "After today, history will be changed and you won't have to." Chakotay looked dubious; he hoped and prayed that all would go as it should, but even he had his doubts.

B'Elanna looked at the pained expression on her friend's face. "Don't worry… we'll get her back."

"I hope so B'Elanna… I hope so."

Tome came back into the room from the kitchen, "Food's ready guys… and remember… no meat today, someone," he glared at Chakotay, "is a vegetarian."

"Hey, no need to be like that, you guys. I never said you couldn't eat meat."

B'Elanna laughed, "Yeah, next time we'll replicate a meat dish for us, and replicate Chakotay a carrot."

"Very funny B'Elanna."

"I thought so, and apparently do did Tom." She pointed at Tom who was stifeling a laugh.

You guys are just too much for me. "Wait until we get Kathryn back and she can – " He stopped dead in his tracks. He was treading dangerous waters. He felt his eyes get moist, and the tears form beneath his closed eyelids.

B'Elanna stared at Chakotay, grieving for something that might not happen. "For the last time Chakotay… we'll get her back."

Chakotay just nodded and blinked back tears. "I know; I just can't help but think that maybe we're being too optimistic; maybe it won't happen."

Tom turned around and looked into his eyes, making sure Chakotay was paying attention to what he was saying. "We have the best engineer, best doctor, and best pilot," he looked smugly at Chakotay, "and its not you… on the job. It will happen."

He looked at Tom, seeing if he really believed what he was saying. On thing about working all those years with Tom Paris was: you began to understand when he was being truthful and when the bravado was taking precedence. "I hope so Tom, I hope so."

End Chapter ii


	3. Chapter 3

In Confidence

Stage II

Chapter iii

Chakotay, B'Elanna and Tom had managed to 'borrow' the _Delta Flyer_ from the shipyard. They were now officially mercenaries, and the plan to save their futures' had begun.

They made their way – 'under the radar' – to Starfleet Medical, there was one person left to the group they needed to perform this mission flawlessly.

B'Elanna tapped her combadge knowing the line she was using was secure. "Torres to the doctor."

The Doctor came on the line: "Yes B'Elanna, you guys ready to go?"

B'Elanna smirked, "Ready as we'll ever be."

The doctor sighed, "Well I guess coming from you three, that's as good as I'm going to get."

Chakotay looked at the Paris couple, "Good to see some things never change," he paused looking at Tom and B'Elanna, "like your charming personality doctor."

The doctor harrumphed, "Or like your rebel ways Chakotay." Chakotay grinned, "Old habits die hard."

The doctor smiled to himself, "Indeed they do." He paused, "Well, I'm ready for transport whenever you guys are."

B'Elanna tapped the controls and the doctor dematerialized, re-materializing on the Delta Flyer. "Well, hello again everyone."

They all made their way to Starfleet Command. The doctor and transported B'Elanna down to the facility. After Tom trying and failing to get the components they needed, they had gone on to 'Plan B'. Chakotay waited with baited breath for B'Elanna to work her magic and thankfully she had.

"B'Elanna to Delta Flyer."

The doctor responded, knowing at this point he was the one they needed. "I'm ready when you are Commander."

B'Elanna laughed, "We're not in Starfleet anymore doc, and after today I highly doubt that any of our Starfleet ranks will make a difference. You can call me B'Elanna you know, you did after all deliver my first born."

The EMH let our a sigh. "Very well B'Elanna," he emphasized her name. "The shielding as been infused with the Borg Nanoprobes as you requested; the moment you activate the shielding around the components, transport will commence."

_So I, I won't be the one,_

_Be the one to leave this,_

_In pieces._

_And you, you will be alone,_

_Alone with all your secrets,_

_And regrets._

_Don't lie._

In Pieces, Linkin Park

Chakotay glanced the doctor's way, "You ready to change history doc?"

The doctor was looking at him apprehensively, (which was quite a feat for a hologram). "I suppose at this point I've already made my decision… and there's no turning back."

Chakotay laughed, "I suppose not."

Tom entered into the conversation: "Transport in progress you two. That's one down, one to go."

Tom manoeuvred again after retrieving his wife and the components. "So… now back to Starfleet Medical."

It was the doc's last chore (well the last scheduled one anyway). He had made quite a career for himself since their return Alpha Quadrant; and since the 'Janeway files' had now been declassified, getting a copy of her files from years past shouldn't have been a problem; shouldn't have been.

The doctor looked at Chakotay questioning. "So all you need are her medical files from three weeks prior to her death?"

Chakotay nodded, "That should be enough to convince Kathryn that what we're doing is for the best."

The doctor was transported to the secure medical facility. He saw a lonely lieutenant that was stuck doing security for the entrance to the facility. "Hello Jean, long time no see."

The woman looked at the EMH strangely, "I thought you were done for the night sir?"

The doctor simply smiled. "I forgot something behind. So…" he paused, "I won't be a minute."

The woman nodded and granted him entrance, watching where he was going and what he was doing. _Odd, why would he be bringing up 'the Janeway files'?"_

Jean tapped her combadge, "Doctor, those files have been de-classified, but I still need a ranking official's consent to release them to you."

The doctor go nervous, "Ah... yes… they're being released on the authority of Admiral Paris."

The doc waited to see if acceptance was forthcoming, but the lieutenant still seemed suspicious. "I trust you have the paperwork to back up that claim?"

The doctor sighed, "I'll show them to you on the way out lieutenant."

The woman nodded in acceptance of this statement, and the doctor breathed a sigh of relief for the moment.

He was aware of the fact that the Starfleet Medical research facility was too high security for the direct beam out, but knew – for the good the future – he'd have to get the documentation somehow.

He made a quick decision and changed his physical parameters – one of the many advantages of being a hologram – and acquired a drug that would render the woman harmless to their plan.

He attempted to simply walk out of the facility unhindered and uninterrupted, files in hand, but the lieutenant on duty and other ideas and pointed a phaser his way. "Doctor, put the files down and step away slowly." She paused seeing if he'd obey. "I spoke with Admiral Paris, and he said that he'd given no such authorization for those documents to be released. I will ask you one last time, please set the documents down and leave."

The doctor stared at Jean momentarily then made a beeline for the door, and as the phaser shot through him, he knew there was no longer any turning back. He anaesthetized the lieutenant, and ran out of the facility. The moment he had been released from the grips of the secure facility, he called for a beam out. B'Elanna obliged, "Doctor… we're locking on to you now."

The EMH waited, as he watched the security detachment gaining on him. He felt the dematerialization sequence taking place, and thanked his lucky stars that he had the best engineer he would ever know – in his opinion – on his side.

_There's truth in your lies,_

_Doubt in your faith,_

_All I've got's what you didn't take._

In Pieces, Linkin Park\

They looked at each other. "Well this is it, there's definitely no turning back now: we've all burned our bridges.

B'Elanna looked at Chakotay, "In a matter of minutes… it won't matter."

"I hope so B'Elanna; I hope so."

End Chapter iii


	4. Chapter 4

In Confidence

Stage II

Chapter iv

Chakotay knew that in his timeline the 'Admiral Janeway' that had come back to fix the past had gotten the technology from Korath (from the Borg Sphere he had brought back to the Alpha Quadrant). Problem was, this sphere had not yet been discovered or dissected by the Klingon Empire, so that left Chakotay et. All to find it themselves so they could indeed fix the past.

B'Elanna spoke up, regretfully, "Too bad Seven isn't here. She'd know what to look for.

Chakotay spun around to face her, anger and frustration marring his features. "Well you're just going to have to make do in her absence aren't you?"

Tom grabbed Chakotay by the shoulders and forced Chakotay to look him in the eyes. "Calm down Chakotay. We'll do it; we'll get you back. Have a little faith man." He paused, "You'll go back and Kathryn – if she's anything like our Kathryn was, and I'm sure she is – will do the right thing. History will not repeat itself." He paused making sure that Chakotay was looking at him. "I never underestimated B'Elanna or Kathryn, and neither should you."

Chakotay sighed, defeated. "I never underestimated either of them Tom. I'm doubting my ability to complete this task."

B'Elanna walked over to him and let her Klingon temper get the better of her: she slapped him across the face. "Now, you listen to me. I didn't sacrifice my life, my reputation, the future of my children, for you to get cold feet!"

Chakotay stood statue still: shocked. Then began yelling, "You've got some nerve B'Elanna; what about my future?!"

Tom never thought, in a million years that he or the doctor would be the voice of reason, let alone in agreement. "Okay, okay…" he stood between the two feuding parties separating them: "Let's all cool down. In the end we all want the same thing: A future we can all live with, and with Kathryn Janeway as part of it."

B'Elanna and Chakotay each drew in a deep breath. Chakotay turned to the rest of the group, "I'm really sorry guys; it's just so close I can almost taste it." He paused, "But at the same time, I can't help but think about what will happen if we can't, or don't do it."

The doctor decided it was his turn. "We will do it Chakotay, at this point it really isn't an option."

Chakotay nodded in acceptance. He walked up to B'Elanna and have her a hug. "In case I don't get to do this later, or in the next life," he turned and faced everyone… "I love you all."

The doctor raised his eyebrows, "Are you sure that its Kathryn Janeway you want to save?"

Tom piped in, "Yeah, you know Chakotay, if you wanted to come out of the closet… you picked a hell of a time."

B'Elanna rolled her eyes and gave her husband a swat on the arm. "Nice, Tom. All kidding aside Chakotay, we're glad to help."

Tom looked at Chakotay, "Don't believe her; she lies like a rug."

B'Elanna glared at Tom, "Holy crap you two; have to been practicing 'Janeway death glares' on each other?"

"We don't give them to anyone but you Tom. Kathryn used to serve you with those on a regular basis, so we had to try and fill the void."

Tom looked at B'Elanna, attempting to mimic the death glare. The doctor shook his head. "Well, Mr. Paris, that wasn't quite right. I think you're scarier as Captain Proton."

The group laughed, "Kidding aside, we have to get a move on."

B'Elanna took yet another look at her readings, "I think I've got it. Ruins of a Borg Sphere, sector 147 mark 2: 2.3 million kilometres outside of the Klingon Empire."

Chakotay looked at her, then double-checked her readings. "Looks like the component is intact."

B'Elanna smiled, "Looks like."

She turned to her husband, "Can you get a lock on it from your position?"

"Already on it Mrs. Paris."

B'Elanna smirked, "In your dreams… and possibly when we're alone at home."

The doctor looked at the couple, "And apparently in the ready room." He grinned.

Tom turned a bright shade of pink. "Enough already."

He looked up, "Looks like we've got it." Chakotay rushed to the back of the cargo hold, like a child who had just found a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

"Let's get out of here Tom, before someone tries to figure out what we're doing."

Tom nodded his head and plotted a course for the future. Never had that phrase been truer than it was right now.

And so the journey to the future began…

End Chapter iv


	5. Chapter 5

In Confidence

Stage II

Chapter v

The reached the co-ordinates that Admiral Janeway – the one who had come back in their time – had plotted almost six years ago now.

"Last chance to back out; is everyone ready?" Chakotay asked. He saw nods around the table. "I suppose backing out at this point would be useless anyway. We succeed, no matter what you do now, in this timeline: it won't make a difference."

B'Elanna chuckled, "Yeah, like you could do this without us."

He glared at her, completely serious. "If it meant getting Kathryn back, I'd die trying."

Tom looked at him knowingly, "I can relate to that. If it was B'Elanna… same deal."

Chakotay nodded, "Well I'm glad you're with me."

"We're glad we're with you too."

The doctor looked up to the others, "Speak for yourselves."

Tom pulled the Doc over, "Oh, come on. You volunteered for this; you miss her too."

The doctor contemplated, "Yes, I suppose I do miss that stubborn Captain of ours."

Chakotay smirked, "Now that we've all agreed, let's get a move on."

B'Elanna set up the time travel equipment and got ready to open the singularity. "Alright Chakotay, the shuttle is equipped and sitting in the bay waiting. Good thing they made the 'Alpha Flyer' a whole lot smaller than we designed the 'Delta Flyer'."

Chakotay looked at the group before him. "Indeed, and in case I don't get to see you all again, thanks for the help; and see you in the past."

Chakotay walked to the back of the Delta Flyer and boarded the Alpha Flyer. He heard B'Elanna over the comm. system. "Now Chakotay, we all know what your reputation with shuttles is like; we only have one of these… so don't crash it."

He re-opened the line, "You're funny B'Elanna, I think you missed your true calling."

B'Elanna answered with a snide remark of her own. "Ever wonder why on Voyager we had a full compliment of shuttles totalling four and you managed to destroy seventeen of them?"

He laughed, "Now you two are getting personal. At least I didn't manage to crash the Delta Flyer like Kathryn did – "

The silence in the room was deafening, everyone stopped cold, unbelieving of what had just slipped out of Chakotay's mouth. "Chakotay…"

Chakotay unbelieving of what he had just said, just stared at the group. B'Elanna piped up in an attempt to shatter the awkward silence. "Pre-launch sequence begun." She turned to look at her husband, "Tom how does everything look on your end?"

Tom ignored the fact that Chakotay was pretending like he had not just spoken of Kathryn Janeway in the manner he had (kidding or not). "It looks good from here, and the temporal flexure should be opening in two minutes."

Chakotay looked at the picture or Kathryn he took everywhere with him. _We will be together soon Kathryn._ "Okay guys, checking shuttle readings, all looks good. Can you open the shuttlebay doors B'Elanna?"

"On it Chakotay, depressurizing in 5… 4… 3… 2… off you go, Chakotay; and good luck."

Chakotay looked at the picture of Kathryn he had kept with him all these years. She looked so happy, so content. The picture had been taken on 'New Earth', all those years ago. _We'll fix this Kathryn, for all of us._

End Chapter 5


	6. Chapter 6

In Confidence

Stage II

Chapter vi

The singularity opened in front of Chakotay and he readied himself. He had to go through and get the messages to Kathryn. He had to convince her that what he was doing was for the best.

He braced himself and plunged through the temporal anomaly hoping he'd end up where he needed to be. And scanning for Voyager the whole time, when his scan results came through, sure enough… there she was, 20 000 km from his current location.

He opened a hailing frequency: "Chakotay to Janeway."

On Voyager, Kathryn stared at her Chakotay, _Was this some kind of sick joke? She looked to her Commander, her second half questioningly._

_Whoa… when had she started thinking of Chakotay as hers? Be serious Kathryn, you know it was the minute the two of you stepped onto New Earth._ Harry piped up from behind her. "That comm. signal is coming from a ship about 20 000 km in front of us; it has a Federation Signature."

Janeway's jaw dropped, "Well answer him." She stated sarcastically.

Harry looked up at her frantically, "Signal opened Captain."

"This is Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager; how can we be of assistance?"

Kathryn stared at the viewscreen and saw behind the shipa temporal anomaly. The viewscreen lit up and an older version of Chakotay brightened it. "Hello Kathryn," he paused taking in the sight of his former Captain: alive and well. Then he dropped the bomb, "I've come to take Voyager home."

Kathryn made a slashing movement towards Harry, and the signal was muted from her end. She looked at 'her' Chakotay, "What the hell is going on?"

Chakotay made a shrugging motion, "I don't know any more than you do Captain."

Harry interjected, "That vessel has a time differential of approximately 6 years, and that ship looks to a descendent of our 'Delta Flyer'."

Janeway nodded; she motioned for Harry to re-open the channel. "Mr. Chakotay, we need to beam you and your shuttlecraft aboard Voyager, then we'll go from there."

Chakotay nodded and Janeway had Harry beam the intruder aboard: ordering him to sickbay.

Kathryn took off from the bridge in a hurry, flustered. She all but ran down the hallway going towards sickbay. Kathryn breezed through the sickbay doors and a shadow appeared gracing the older man's features. "Kathryn."

Janeway nodded to the EMH and he made his way up to the Captain. "He has the same genetic structure and makeup as Commander Chakotay." He paused staring the Captain in the eyes. "He is Chakotay, approximately six years from now."

Kathryn just stared at Chakotay. Her normally blue eyes changing to a dusky grey, a sure sign of the anger boiling below the surface." "How could you do this? Didn't I teach you anything in the years we served together aboard this ship?"

He stared at her, "In my timeline… it was you who came back to bring Voyager home, and it ended in disaster."

Kathryn looked at him sceptically, "And what was so wrong that –" she paused, "Wait, I don't want to know: Temporal Prime Directive; the less I know about the future, the better."

The older Chakotay hopped off the biobed and approached the Doctor. "Doctor, I need you to do a scan on Kathryn for me. Unless this Kathryn is more attentive to her health than mine was – " Chakotay glared at Kathryn saying: _And I know you arent…_

"Now wait a second Commander…"

Chakotay interrupted Kathryn, "It's just Chakotay now."

The doctor continued, "Fine Chakotay. What exactly am I looking for that I missed before?" He was looking at him as if saying: _Are you implying that I missed something important?_

Chakotay took in a deep breath, fully expecting a blow-up from Kathryn after his divulgence of a secret she didn't know yet she was keeping. "I need to know if the Captain is pregnant?"

Kathryn had been watching this whole interplay with mild interest, until Chakotay let the bomb drop. Her jaw opened gently unsure of what to think. "That's just not possible Chakotay. "She shot back with a venomous quip, "Unless your Kathryn was a little looser..."

He looked at her with anger, "My Kathryn," he emphasized the my, "Was you Captain."

Kathryn stared at him and raised her arms in defeat, approaching the doctor, "Fine doctor; tell him he's wrong."

The doctor was almost imperceptibly shaking his head as he scanned the Captain. It was at this point that she knew she'd lost. "Captain, I'm afraid I can't do that: Human female, 42 years old. Foetus, 12 weeks gestational growth… give or take a day."

She was still in shock as she turned to the doctor and Chakotay. "That's just not possible doctor. I haven't been with anyone in…" She paused, lost in thought when a realization hit her, "Jaffin."

Chakotay took a minute to look at the shattered woman in front of him. He knew what she was thinking : This was possibly her last chance at motherhood. This was a blessing in disguise. He had to make her see. "You can't have that baby Kathryn."

Kathryn felt numb: her mind was spinning. This man from the future, a man for whom she had held love unrequited for close to seven years – not only knew she was pregnant – was stating in no uncertain terms that she could not have this child. She turned and stared into his deep obsidian orbs, "Why?"

Chakotay stared into the ocean blue eyes of Kathryn Janeway: The expressive windows to her soul. He had to make her see that he was not kidding, so many things hung in the balance of her decision: She could not have that baby. "I'm going to ask you again Chakotay…Why?"

"Are you sure you want to know Kathryn?"

Kathryn was exasperated. This situation was slowly spinning out of control.

And Kathryn Janeway did not like losing control, "I am absolutely positive that I need to know why you want me to kill this innocent being!" She stated, hands pointing to her abdomen.

"Kathryn, you have to trust me on this: it's for the best, and the reason I came back."

"Listen Chakotay, I need to know."

Chakotay looked at her once more making surethat this was really what she wanted, drew in a deep breath, and began his story: "In my timeline, YOU came back. We had lost 16 crewmembers between the time we got stranded and the time we got back home, but you should know that, our timelines at this point should have been the same."

He continue, "If you don't come back, you'll lose another 15 crewmembers. The Delta Quadrant is a death sentence for them."

Kathryn's jaw dropped. Chakotay had never seen her speechless so many times in the conversation. "And you're sure we can't prevent these deaths by you telling me who they were and how they died?"

He was getting frustrated, but Kathryn Janeway could be infuriating: but that was part of the reason that he loved her. "Kathryn, I remember how you were; I remember who you are now." He paused seeing if she would put the pieces together, "Temporal Prime Directive applies."

Kathryn didn't know what to say or think. She went to her typical defence mechanism and lashed out. "Didn't you break the 'Temporal Prime Directive' by coming here at all?" Her hand starched over the smooth fabric that covered her abdomen. "By killing this child, aren't you going to change…"

He cut her off knowing what she was doing throwing a gut reaction in his face. "… for the better, only for the better." He grabbed her arms and forced her to look at him. "But you have to listen to me Kathryn."

"How could you possibly know it will be better?" It had been years she had been afraid of him, but today that fear had re-surfaced. He was pressing into her arms so hard she was sure it would leave bruises come morning, "Chakotay, you're hurting me."

He loosened his grip but continued for force her to stare into his face. "I never meant to hurt you Kathryn, I'm sorry. But I'm sure it will be better because it can't possibly get any worse."

"What was so bad…?"

He had a fire in his eyes as he responded. "I lost you Kathryn; we all lost you." He paused unsure if he should divulge that last piece of information, but for Chakotay's future he did. "I finally had you willing, and you died, the baby died… my life stopped on that day."

Kathryn was shocked; she was speechless, and then the anger set in. "Oh please, don't tell me you did this for the sake of your younger self's libido?!"

Chakotay's anger was flaring too at this point. "Oh for god's sake Kathryn; I did it for the crew, I did it for humanity… and I suppose in a sense I did it for us as well."

"Come on Chakotay, in 'a sense'? You've been chasing after me for years."

Chakotay stared at her, "Fine, but over yourself: I did it mainly to save the human race: I did it for humanity, I did it for all of us. I did it so that little Miral and Owen could grow up in a world without fear and hate. Whether you want to hear it or not Kathryn I love you, but I also love living in the Utopia that was Earth, and pone thing you did teach me is the whole is greater than the sum of its parts."

He took in a deep breath and pulled her close to him. "I wouldn't, and couldn't, in all good conscious, do this just for you."

Kathryn pulled away tears in her eyes. She sniffled (a rather undignified gesture for a Captain).

Chakotay smiled: "Hormones."

Kathryn gathered herself, wiping the tears from her cheeks. "What do you mean for humanity Chakotay?"

Chakotay looked deep into her eyes, "In my timeline, you had the baby. It's a girl," he pulled her close and placed a hand on her tummy. "You named her Marissa, and she was born the 'New Borg Queen'." He paused tears in his eyes. "She lived only a week before – for the sake of humanity and the Federation – I was forced to kill her."

Kathryn was unsure what to say. Her hand drifted to her midsection, feeling for any sign that there was indeed a child there. "So you're telling me, you're sparing your younger self that dilemma by asking me to kill the child now…. You know I can't do that… it's against my… "

Chakotay glared at Kathryn, "Damn 'Protocol' and damn the 'Temporal Prime Directive'. Were you listening to me? If you go back to the Alpha Quadrant now: pregnant, you will kill the Borg Queen that is being assembled," at her look of apprehension he continued, "yes assembled in the Alpha Quadrant. You sill stop one invasion, only to spawn another after Seven refuses 'the honour'."

Janeway's mind was spinning, "Seven dies?"

Chakotay paused; how much did she really want to know about a future that _could be_? "She kills herself in an attempt to stop the invasion, but after informing you that the child you carry WILL BE the Borg Queen's replacement."

Kathryn opened her mouth to respond, but no words were forthcoming. Chakotay interrupted her attempts at coherent speech. He looked distraught and a little pissed off. "You decided – being Kathryn Janeway – that it had gone far enough, and for the sake of the Federation, the child would have to die."

He stopped, gauging her reaction, taking a deep breath and steadying himself for the revelation. "Unfortunately, at that point the child had intertwined herself into your body so deeply that an abortion was no longer an option. You died on the operating table giving birth to your daughter, whom you left in my care."

She stared at him unbelieving. "I left my only child to you."

He smiled and she saw the dimples and felt herself falling in love all over again. "It seems that the agreement we had on Voyager, 'should anything happen to either one of us, the other was in charge and took responsibility for all their belongings was still binding… so the responsibility for Marissa fell to me."

"So we had a child together?"

Chakotay laughed out loud. "Not quite, but when you're ready… I'm sure that 'your Chakotay' would be more than willing. I know remember: I was him."

"But Chakotay," She turned her eyes to the ground, "I love him."

He tilted her chin up so she was looking him straight in the eyes, "I know you do, but it's him not me you have to tell."

Kathryn nodded and placed her hands on her belly. "Now let's talk about Marissa."

END CHAPTER vi


	7. Chapter 7

In Confidence

Stage II

Chapter vii

Kathryn stared at the box, unsure if she wanted to know. "Go ahead Kathryn; open the box."

She looked up at him, fear in her eyes. "I don't know if I want to."

He stared at her, and smiled. "Come here." She approached him, brought the box out and sat next to him on the couch. She slowly lifted the lid, and a picture of the Paris family was the first thing she saw.

"They had another child?"

Chakotay grinned, "Owen was two months old when I left and Miral was almost six."

She stared at him. He knew what she was going to ask. "They were alright with this Kathryn. They knew that life would be better. They knew the world needed you."

"But what about their children? What about the life they had built for themselves in your timeline?"

He put a finger to her lips quieting the line of questioning. "The first Paris child was born this morning, right?"

Kathryn looked down at her hands. "Yes Miral was born early this morning."

"Well if you know her name, then you know the password for their letter." He paused, "Why don't you read it, and you can hear the confirmation of their willingness for this to go through directly from Tom and B'Elanna."

Kathryn felt the anger flare. "I don't' want to know how happy they were. I not sure I want to see them with everything I will never have."

She paused, realizing she had tears rolling down her cheeks; her hand going to her abdomen. "I want children Chakotay, I want 'his' children. I want to give him everything: children, a wife, a happy life; as I look at Tom and B'Elanna and their child coming, I realize that is something I want too."

He brought her close in a hug full of comfort. "I'm sure this Chakotay will give you all these things, and as many children as you want, until you're not able to have them anymore; but right now… it's this one," he stated pointing at her still flat abdomen, "we have to worry about."

She picked up the letter from Tom and B'Elanna and began to read. She looked at the picture of the older couple.

She loved them like a mother loves her children. "They really want this?"

Chakotay nodded. "They need you Kathryn, and so does the world."

Kathryn set aside the letter from the Paris' and picked up letter #2. She stared at the number of characters in the password: it was twelve letters. "This one is from you?"

He looked uncomfortably at Kathryn. "This one was compiled by me."

She shook her head. "What the hell does that mean?"

"It means there were a lot of people involved and I put everything together for you. I'm guessing you k now what the password is?"

"I'm guessing it's _angrywarrior_… you never were one for subtlety."

"Oh come on Kathryn, no one – not even Tom Paris – would have guessed that except you."

Kathryn was humbled by how well he knew her. She was crying again. "I'm not normally a crier… damn hormones."

"I know Kathryn, I know." He wiped the tears from her cheeks and encouraged her to look the padd over.

She read the letter, telling of the love the two of them had begun to share. She looked at the pictures, "So that's what I'd look like pregnant?"

He smiled. "You… were very cute."

Kathryn rolled her eyes. "Oh come on Chakotay, I was huge!"

He shrugged his shoulders, "You were pregnant."

She went further in the letter. Pictures of Marissa with her 'Borg Implants' and her faint chin lines came up. Copies of the broadcasts telling of the destruction and the resurgence the Borg Virus had caused.

Finally Marissa's death certificate and Chakotay's prison record.

Kathryn was astounded by what had happened, what would happen if she kept this baby.

After a lot of soul searching and research on what had happened, she kept coming to the same conclusion: She could not let this happen; would not let this happen again.

Kathryn turned to the older version of Chakotay. "I can't let all this destruction happen because of my selfish want to have a child; it isn't right."

Chakotay nodded somewhat sadly, but gratefully. "I guess you've made your decision then," the couple looked around sickbay. It seemed the doctor had deactivated himself while they discussed her options. "We'd better get the doctor back online, and get this over with."

Kathryn summoned up all her courage and piped up, "Computer activate the EMH."

The doctor appeared, "Ah, Captain. Have you made your decision?"

Kathryn nodded, not allowing her indecision to show. "You have to get rid of this child Doctor."

The doctor stared, puzzled at the Captain. "Are you positive that's what…"

Janeway cut him off. "I suggest we get this over and done with before I change my mind."

He sighed, "Yes ma'am."

He turned to look at the man from the future. "If our visitor could give us some privacy –"

Chakotay nodded and walked out of sickbay. His plan in motion.

Chakotay was walking down the halls of the Voyager, when a sudden bout of nostalgia hit him. No matter how long he had been away, it still felt like home. "Computer, can you give me the location of Commander Chakotay?"

The computer paused, processing the request. "Commander Chakotay is in his quarters."

Chakotay nodded to himself, came to a decision and made his way to the officer's deck.

He reached his old quarters and rang the chime. "Come."

He walked into the quarters and felt as if he had come home; he felt as if he was looking at a ghost of who he had been. "Hello," he stated to his younger self.

Chakotay was unsure what to say. He had seen the image of his aging self on the viewscreen, but being brought face to face with the man that he would be was another story. He backed away, fear and uncertainty in his eyes, "I don't want to know."

The older man approached him. "Yes, you do."

"No I don't." the Commander stated firmly.

"For god's sake man, listen to me. You have to dump Seven. I know she's a great trophy, but that's all she is." He paused looked at Chakotay with meaning. "You'll never love her the way you love Kathryn."

"How do you – "

"How do I know? I was you remember?"

Chakotay stared at his older self: "She'll never love me the way that I love her, or the way I want her to love me."

He sighed exasperated. "Wake up man! She can't because of protocol and you know it. Within the day, you'll be back in the Alpha Quadrant: no longer under her command and these excuses will be a moot point." Commander Chakotay tried to interrupt, but his counterpart continued: "Right now, she is in sickbay, having an operation that will rid her body of a child, of a baby that I told her she couldn't have for the good of the Human Race. She agreed, but it pained her to do so."

Chakotay looked surprised. "Kathryn Janeway… and kids… and we?"

The older man sighed at his younger version's incomprehension. "She wants the same things in life that you do, but up until this point, she has been too stuck up in being 'the Captain' to realize all she was potentially missing."

He paused, letting his words sink in. "She's going to be kept under sedation until tomorrow morning, but when she comes to, she's probably going to be sore and a little emotionally drained and confused. You have to be there, you have to be sure to let her know she's not alone and you'll help her realize her dreams of home, hearth and a family."

He thought about it, "What about Seven?"

He chuckled at the irony, "At this moment, Seven is trying to decide how to let you down gently."

"But she approached me!"

The older Chakotay looked at his younger self with pity. "And the relationship has run its course; you do however have many years left with Kathryn - if you want them – I would think."

Chakotay heard his commbadge chirp, "Seven of Nine to Commander Chakotay."

Chakotay turned to the Commander, "Here's your chance! Take it, and run with it."

He nodded and both men left the quarters. Chakotay met up with Seven. "Chakotay, I don't think this is working. I think I jumped into this relationship not knowing what relationships were really all about."

She paused, attempting to sum up her words, "The doctor informed me yesterday during my yearly physical, that I am incapable of having children; and I know how much having a family means to you."

Chakotay just stared at her. "We're not ending this because you think that's what I want; you have to want it too."

"I have not had enough experience with relationships to settle down. I have to experience more before I pick a life partner."

She was giving him a way out – be it intentional or not – she was allowing him a way to be with Kathryn: she was letting him off the hook. "I understand Seven, and I hope you find happiness."

Seven smiled a knowing smile. "And Chakotay, tell the Captain I hope she feels better."

Chakotay nodded and left the Cargo Bay, mission accomplished: he was a free man.

END CHAPTER vii


	8. Chapter 8

In Confidence

Stage II

Chapter viii

Chakotay went to his shuttle and made the preparations for the launch; this is what he had come to do: change the past and make a new future. The shuttle was perfect for this mission. _Thank god for B'Elanna in any time._

Before he had made the trip back, 'his Tom and B'Elanna' had equipped the 'Alpha Flyer' with all the necessary technology to not only make the trip back, but be assured that this Voyager would make the trip back the Alpha Quadrant safely and in one piece.

He had made sure this timeline's B'Elanna was aware of all of the modifications that needed to be done – and if history repeated itself – those modifications would have to be started soon; Miral would be making her appearance early tomorrow morning.

Chakotay made his way to sickbay, and sat at Kathryn's bedside. He cried looking at Kathryn lying so peacefully on the bed, but knowing her inner turmoil to be extreme. He cried for the child that would never know the world, and he cried happy tears for the life he and Kathryn would hopefully one day have together; and he cried for the children she would hopefully one day give him (if she was willing).

He lay down on the biobed next to her and held her close, loving the feel of her; loving the smell of her; loving the look of her.

He wanted her so badly and he could feel himself getting hard in her close proximity. Then he felt himself getting warm and red with embarrassment.

He loved her and he never wanted to let her go.

Kathryn was dreaming; she saw a child with pleading eyes, red hair, and faint temple ridges: "Why did you do this to me mommy? I deserved to live." She felt tears coursing down her cheeks and she knew that even though it wasn't right, it was necessary. _I'm sorry baby, I'm so sorry._ The words escaping, like a mantra.

Chakotay stared at the troubled woman in his arms. He held on tighter as he heard the words flowing from her lips, like a prayer. "I'm so sorry baby."

She paused in distress. "I'm sorry." She stated louder as if it would change the facts at hand.

She was crying tears of sorrow and regret for the child they would never know. "I know that you deserved more: you deserved to live."

He watched her hand stray to the now barren abdomen. "I needed to do it for the crew, for Earth: for humanity."

Chakotay reached up and wiped the tears that were flowing from Kathryn's crystal blue eyes. "It's okay Kathryn, you did what you had to do: I understand."

He brushed the hair away from her face, letting her porcelain skin glow. "I'll give you all the children you want, and I'll give you a happy life: with everything you've ever dreamed of. I promise you that."

A smile crept to her lips. "Oh, Chakotay; I love you so much. I wish I could tell you; I wish we could be together without hurting Seven."

She paused, and he knew if she were awake and her eyes were open that she would be staring into his telling depths. "Seven is like a daughter to me, how could you?! How could you betray me in so many ways?!"

He held her closer as her diatribe continued. "I thought we made a promise to each other that when we finally made it to Earth we would be together, or at least give it a try; and then, weeks before we get home you do this. You move on - " She cried some more and he simply held her.

Chakotay was thinking: _How was I supposed to know that it was going to be only weeks until we got home?_ But then he remembered the words he had said to her many times: "You are not alone Kathryn, we have plenty of time." She had taken these words at face value, putting all her trust in him: And he had betrayed her, betrayed that trust and betrayed her love for him.

He held her closer and whispered in her ear: "I'll make everything okay Kathryn, I promise you."

END CHAPTER viii


	9. Chapter 9

In Confidence

Stage II

Chapter ix

B'Elanna was working on the modifications to the warp core when the beginnings of her labour pains had begun, about and hour ago; but they were still manageable and quite far apart. She figured there was no reason to worry Tom or the Doctor just yet.

As she was thinking these thoughts, she felt another pain flow through her body. She looked at the chronometer, _eight minutes, they were getting closer together_.

B'Elanna had a lot of work to do, and the doctor said there was really nothing to be concerned about until the contractions went to five minute intervals. Hopefully, she would be able to get these modifications done before her labour pains became crippling.

B'Elanna took a deep breath and went back to work, making sure that both Seven and Vorik were apprised of the modifications that had to be made beforehand.

Tom checked his readings, and saw that B'Elanna was working awfully fast on the warp core modifications – not that she didn't always work fast – but there seemed to be an urgency to her work schedule.

"Paris to Torres, is everything alright down there?"

He heard her huff on the other end of the line. "Everything is fine Tom, thank you for checking."

Tom looked across the bridge to Harry, who threw his shoulders up as if saying: 'I don't know.'

"How long until the modifications to the warp core are complete Lieutenant?" He heard B'Elanna suck in her breath, "Are you okay B'Elanna?"

She sighed, "I'm fine Tom, probably about an hour and a half at our current rate."

Tom listened carefully trying to get an idea of what was happening in Engineering. "Thank you… you're sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine Tom, now if you're done badgering me, I have to get back to work. I'll see you later." And she cut the line. Something was definitely going on – well besides the fact that they would soon be home, and were on the cusp on parenthood – something felt odd.

In sickbay, Chakotay awoke to movement in his arms. He looked down to see Kathryn stretching like a cat in the sun. "Kathryn dear, you talk in your sleep."

Kathryn turned a cute shade of pink. "Please tell me I wasn't actually saying what I was thinking?"

Chakotay looked at her and smiled that full-dimpled grin she had fallen in love with. "I was, wasn't I?"

He just nodded before pulling her closer, "Kathryn I heard everything… and Seven and I are no longer together."

"But Seven said…"

"Before you say anything else, it was her decision, and if I can have you, I'm happy about it."

Kathryn smiled, "Chakotay, why would you rather have an old woman like me when you could have an attractive young girl like Seven?"

He chuckled, "That's easy Kathryn: I don't love Seven, but I do love you." He said it with such conviction, such assuredness, that Kathryn wanted to believe him. She opened her mouth to object thinking he couldn't possibly be serious."

Chakotay placed a finger to her lips, stopping the protests before she could make them. "I'll marry you; I'll give you all the children you want. We'll have a beautiful life together. Once this crisis is over, I'll take care of you and I'll love you for the rest of our lives."

Kathryn stared at him in disbelief, "You can't possibly mean that."

He smiled and nodded, "All those years ago on 'New Earth', even though it was said in the guise of an 'ancient legend'… I meant it: I love you Kathryn Janeway."

He tilted her chin up and slowly descended to give her a kiss, giving in to what they'd each been wanting for a long time.

The kiss deepened and Chakotay's hands slowly reached under her gown, feeling for the supple mounds that lay hidden underneath the sickbay dressing. He fondled her breasts, her breath speeding up and the kiss becoming even more involved.

They drew apart at the sound of the holographic doctor clearing his throat unceremoniously. "Not in my sickbay."

They smiled at each other, a secretive smile between new lovers. Chakotay got up and turned towards Kathryn's bed where she sat up looking around. "I'll see you later," she smiled and nodded.

Kathryn turned to the doctor: "When will I be free to leave Doctor?"

"Well," he paused contemplating, "You stayed in sickbay last night, and there don't seem to be an complications from the procedure, I don't see why you can't be released to your quarters now." He stopped, knowing she had to be told, or she'd be back on the bridge. She got up to leave and the doctor stopped her with a hand on the arm, "But you are off duty for the next two days at least."

Kathryn smiled at the doctor. "Thank you."

"You're welcome Captain, and remember: you just had a major operation. If you have increased bleeding, the cramping becomes more severe or any other unusual symptoms manifest themselves… please report to sickbay immediately."

Kathryn nodded and breezed out of sickbay. The doctor rubbed his chin in thought; things were changing aboard the Voyager. Maybe this stranger from the future was going to make things better for all of them.

END CHAPTER ix


	10. Chapter 10

In Confidence

Stage II

Chapter x

Kathryn lay in her bed. She could not go to the bridge; for all intents and purposes she was a prisoner in her quarters. _When is Chakotay going to come back?_

Where had that thought come from? She should be thinking about her ship, her crew, her captaincy: her life.

_Whoa where had that thought come from?_ She felt resentment for the first time ever at being the Captain of the good ship Voyager. _But there had to be more to life than captaining a starship through the galaxy; wasn't there?_

She had not thought about anything but her Starfleet career in a very long time. For her whole life there had been nothing else. Now Chakotay was offering something more, all she had to do was accept his invitation.

Tom ran into sickbay, he had been told that B'Elanna was there in labour. He rushed over to the Doc., "So... what's the progress?"

"Everything looks good Lieutenant; but it could be a while yet. Klingon labours can sometimes last for days."

B'Elanna grabbed the front of the doctor's uniform and screamed in pain.

The doctor piped up, "Although, I'm sure that won't be the care."

Tom heard the voice over the comm. That he recognized: Chakotay. "Lieutenant Paris, report to the bridge please."

"Uh… Commander…"

"Is there a problem Mister Paris?"

He looked at his wife, "Go, if this mission is going to succeed we're going to need our best pilot at the helm."

He stared at B'Elanna, giving her a kiss one last time before taking off.

Kathryn felt the ship lurch signalling a shuttle taking off. Though she was aware of the specifics of the mission, she was wishing she could be on the bridge; but she had promised both the doctor and Chakotay that she would take time off and rest after the procedure.

She felt the cramping and she was aware that her body was simply expelling the last vestiges of her baby: her baby, the child she wanted but couldn't have. She decided she would make her way to sickbay, surely a painkiller would help.

The pain, though she knew was more a psychological pain than a physical one; she left her quarters anyway: a woman on a mission.

Kathryn walked into sickbay, as the doors opened she heard the cries of agony of her Chief Engineer and felt the tears come to her eyes and begin to tumble down her cheeks.

The doctor spun around as the doors parted and saw his Captain: standing there, frozen in place wearing civies with her tear soaked shirt and face. "Captain, are you okay?"

Kathryn turned and bolted from sickbay in a panic.

The doctor looked after her, and was about to follow her when B'Elanna's cries stopped him dead and he thought better of it. He tapped his commbadge, "Sickbay to Commander Chakotay."

"Chakotay here, we're a little busy at the moment doctor."

The doctor sighed over the line, "Chakotay, when this crisis is over… I think you should go down and visit the Captain."

Chakotay paused before answering his mind in a whirlwind of thought, "Is Kathryn okay doctor? There weren't any complications with the procedure were there?"

By Chakotay's rushed tone, and his reference to his Captain by her first name he knew he was distressed over the request. "She seems fine physically, but maybe you could try to find a moment to go and visit her anyway."

Chakotay was shocked by the doctor's admission that Kathryn might need him. "It's nothing serious is it doctor?"

"I think she may just be a little emotionally distressed after the procedure this morning."

"Acknowledged Doctor, I'll go see her as soon as this is over."

The doctor actually sounded gracious as he answered him, "Thank you Commander," And the line was cut.

Chaktotay's mind reeled. _Was she okay?_ He had to keep his mind on the task at hand, he would see Kathryn soon.

Kathryn got to her quarters and began to cry. Not the silent tears she sometimes let slip but gut wrenching sobs. She fell to her knees and bawled. She wasn't normally a crier, but seeing B'Elanna in pain – a pain she would gladly have endured – on the cusp on motherhood; it was too much for her: she had broken.

She felt the ship buck, and the speed of the ship increase. One thing about being the Captain of a vessel was… you got in tune with the movements of the ship itself: like a child in tune with the moods of her mother.

_A child, a baby she might never have._ She broke down and the tears began anew.

She made her way slowly to her bad and lay down to let the tears saturate her pillow.

They'd made it. They were finally back in the Alpha Quadrant: back home, and Kathryn Janeway had missed the final entrance.

After seven years of hopes, prayers and fears: they had finally made it.

Chakotay had tried his damnedest to call her, get her to the bridge if only for a moment, but there had been no answer to the hails. She had to have been in bad shape to miss her ship's arrival in the Alpha Quadrant.

But… they were home.

An Admiral – he immediately recognized as Admiral Paris – congratulated them and asked (tactfully) where the Voyager's Captain was.

Even to his ears the excuse that 'she wasn't feeling well' sounded hollow.

When all was said and done, Voyager was re-entered into the Starfleet books without too many problems.

Chakotay made his way to Kathryn's quarters and rang the chime: No answer. He rang again for entry: still no answer. Afraid that something was terribly wrong, he used his override codes.

He walked in, to see the last thing he expected: Kathryn was asleep on her bed, her tear-stained face marring the calmness.

He wanted to go to her, to apologize for all the things his future self had put her through. Damn him, damn the temporal prime directive. He had read through her files, her profile: everything. When he had been promoted to first officer (well placed in the position out of necessity was more like it) he had combed over everything. He needed to know her as best he could, to try to anticipate her command style.

Well so much for that. Kathryn had continued to surprise him throughout the years, and he hoped she would continue to do so during the years to come.

He approached her bed and gently moved her hair away from the porcelain perfection of Kathryn's face. Without the Captain's mask in place – while sleeping – she looked so young and to a certain extent even innocent, the worries of the day lifted from her face.

"Kathryn," he whispered. "Kathryn, we're home; we made it."

Kathryn stirred in her sleep, but refused to wake. "Captain!" he stated finally, a little more forcefully. That got her attention, she woke with a start and reached to tap her commbadge (probably more out of habit than anything else).

This poor woman had lived for everyone else for so long. The Captain's time was over, it was now time for Kathryn to live. He watched her rushed motions, but his hand flew out to capture hers before it hit her chest.

Kathryn rose and spun around, to face him rising to her full height, a good six inches in heels – a good 12 inches barefoot – shy of his height.

Her eyes held a death glare as she stared at him, challenging his actions. "What the hell are you doing?"

He gently grasped her face, "It's okay Kathryn; we're home."

Her eyes filled with confusion. "What?"

"You're been in here for more than twelve hours."

Kathryn shook her head as if attempting to clear the cobwebs and the confusion. "Why didn't you call me to the bridge?"

He looked at her and smiled. "I did, I tried, you weren't answering your hails."

Kathryn locked gazes with him once more, confusion overshadowing clear blue eyes.

The clouds cleared and once again the sadness filled the panes of her soul. "Oh Gods Chakotay, I missed it? We finally got home and I missed it?"

He cut her off with words of reassurance, "It's okay Kathryn; I simply told Admiral Paris that you were under the weather, but that you had co-ordinated the whole effort that brought us home from your quarters."

She stared at him, a half-smile beginning. "Chakotay, that's sweet… but not true." She sighed, "B'Elanna did more than I did and she's been in labour all day."

Chakotay looked at her, begging her to understand. "Yes, but what she went through was a natural process, what you did was not."

"How can you say that!" Her anger was flaring now, "Women have miscarriages all the time."

He stopped her, "Miscarriages Kathryn; you had a three month old foetus removed from your body."

Kathryn's face began to crinkle up and her hands went to cover her face to hide the emotional outburst, blocking her signs of weakness.

Chakotay's voice lowered to a gentle caress. "Don't do that Kathryn. You're human and you're a woman and your body has just gone through a traumatic experience. Give yourself time and a little leeway."

Kathryn glared Chakotay's way. "I'm the Captain, I'm not allowed to – "

"To what Kathryn? Be human?"

Kathryn opened her mouth to respond but no words were forthcoming. Finally she sighed, looked down at her toes and finally, after what seemed like forever to Chakotay… she spoke. "I'm so sorry Chakotay. I've been just the Captain for so long, I'm not sure I know how to be just a woman anymore."

He drew her close to him, in an embrace full of promise, "Oh Kathryn, we're home now. You can be anything you want to be: 'wife', 'mother', 'lover'." He looked at her suggestively.

Kathryn brought her eyes up to his, "You. Wish." She laughed and she lifted her face up to his. As her lips met his, he heard the words: "I love you Chakotay, forever." Escape her lips. _This was perfect; this was heaven._

END CHAPTER x

END STAGE II


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